Can you feel the love tonight?

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Today’s happy was the opportunity to spend the day with a couple friends, have a cigar, and I tried espresso for the first time – and actually really, really liked it. An espresso maker may be in my future so if you have a recommendation on a lesser expensive one – let a brotha know! After spending time with friends today and this afternoon, I got to video chat with another friend this evening while we had a cigar and talked about life and what the future may or may not hold. We don’t get a chance to catch up nearly as often as I like, so I was glad we were able to make the time. All told – a really good day.

Today’s chapter from the Tao te Ching, reading from this page..

#4

The Tao is an empty vessel; it is used, but never filled.
Oh, unfathomable source of ten thousand things!
Blunt the sharpness,
Untangle the knot,
Soften the glare,
Merge with dust.
Oh, hidden deep but ever present!
I do not know from whence it comes.
It is the forefather of the gods.

I look at this as a fundamental view of the Tao as a whole. That it is always there, always surrounding us. That we are always within the Tao and it is always directing us in its own way. The Tao came before creation and will outlast creation. It is not empty, but is never filled. It just is.. and always will be.

Fundamentally I feel this is just setting the stage for further chapters in this book. The one take away for me is the ever presentness of the Tao. Even when it’s used up, or hidden and can’t be seen, maybe even isn’t felt.. it is still there.

This makes me think of friendship. It is clear that the last few months haven’t been great for me, and the last few weeks have been worse as I really hit bottom, but throughout it all one thing has been present: and that is the love and care of those close to me. I know I’ve been burdensome and a handful at times but there are a number of individuals who have stepped up in a number of unexpected and wholly unnecessary ways to show their support and their love as I move through this journey.

That said, I also know that, unlike the Tao, that isn’t an inexhaustible well. I try to tap into that as little as needed and I continue to fear I’ve over extended the hands which have been thrust in my direction and thus far I have not met with any of that resistance. It is still something I continue to keep in the back of my mind as I go through each day.

I’ve chronicled concerns I have had with the lack of care some people have shown as I’ve gone through these last few months, but what is even more important than those who haven’t been there, are those who have. Always, consistently, persistently there.

I may have felt a lot of negative things lately – but there’s no doubt I’ve also felt a lot of love. And that’s a pretty special thing to be able to say.

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